Reminiscing

Reading old posts and seeing how depressed I was makes me sad. Really sad. I've been through so much. From the time I was two til now. 

I've lost my relationship with my father to drugs and alcohol. My aunt terri left again for drugs. 

I've lost my paw, granddaddy, Richie, and heather. It seems like life just goes on tho. No matter what. Every one just goes through the motions. 

Do we even know what our purpose is here? In this big ole world with no one other than God to guide us through. I know that I have no clue what my purpose is. I don't know where I wanna be in life. I don't know who I wanna be. I've been having really bad anxiety about it lately. But I leave it all to God to handle. He knows what I'm supposed to be. 

All I know is I can have an impact on this world. One day my day will come. But until then I'll let God control it. 

Up until I went to rehab I was severely bipolar and depressed. Since then or learned ways to cope with it all. And I know now that everything happens for a reason. One way or another. 

I am now in love with myself, even tho I have bad days I also have really good ones. 

I am completely in love with drew. He makes me happier than anyone else has ever made me. He makes sure I'm happy. And taken care of. Anyone would be a fool not to like him. 

My mom and my little brother Ethan are my backbone. They have my back no matter what. They both support me 110%. And without them I'd be SO lost. 

😘 Goodnight