giving up once again.

it seems like no matter how hard i try i always find myself back to my point of giving up . and i dont like that point . i just wanna be happy , and settling down . i just want to be ok with life , not always dissappointed with it . i hate dissappoinment , but it seems to FOLLOW me around . and i dont know why ? it just sucks . i know God has someone waiting for me , but i'd like to find him now instead of when im fifty . oh well . thats all i gotta blog about tonight . good night .