strung out

here lately it seems like nothing has gone right.

 

let's start where i last left off...

 

i broke up with Teal in June, and went to the beach with Ashlee.

i got my bellybutton pierced. and i got a new tattoo.

 

in june i met a guy who i would later call my best guy friend, or my boo thang. we got really close, bc we had a lot of the same problems.

 

on september ninth 2012 he shot himself. and it killed him. since then i havent really known what to feel. im hurt and mad. i havent had the best way of dealing with it. but thats just me. Richie Wilson will forever be in my heart. me and my best friend Kristin got his initials tattooed on our fingers so we have him with us every single day.

 

 

me and kristin are the best of friends, and i probably wouldnt be alive if she hadnt been here after Richie's death.

i love her and her son, Caden to the moon and back.

 

i started to talk to Clay, my tattoo guy. and he pretty much got my vagina and is acting like an ass.

 

i honestly wanna go get strung out on as many xanex as i can handle. and just see whos really here for me.

 

ive fucked over a lot of people lately. and i feel like the biggest bitch for it.

 

ive decided im gonna go back to the old Emily who doesnt care what guys think of me. and the Emily who doesnt show shes upset.

 

ive grown so coldhearted here lately, and i ALMOST cant stand it.

 

all these emotions running thru my head and i cant continue to let them build up. thats why i wanna go get fucked up just one night, and let them out.